RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN IN  "MY FAIR LADY" © 2000. Okihei Enterprise, Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Tribute to Richard Chamberlain

MY FAIR LADY The musical 'My Fair Lady' is indirectly based on the play 'Pygmalion' by Bernard Shaw.  The idea of the play was taken from a story in Greek mythology. Pygmalion was a king of Cyprus and a great sculptor. He was a confirmed bachelor and lived exclusively for his art. But one day he fell in love with the statue of a beautiful woman he had made and he prayed Venus, the goddess of love, to give the statue life. Venus heard his prayer and when Pygmalion embraced the statue,  it came alive and he married the woman, Galatea, he had himself created. The Hungarian film producer Gabriel Pascal looked for writers who could adapt George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion (1914) into a musical. Fortunately he found a very talented duo of Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner. In the musical 'My Fair Lady' , Pygmalion is a professor of phonetics, a confirmed bachelor who lives exclusively for science. Henry Higgins, a professor of phonetics bets with his acquaintance Colonel Pickering, he can change the Cockney flower girl, Eliza Doolittle into a lady of society, despite her rough dialect and indelicate expression. Eliza agrees to take speech lessons from professor Higgins in order to fulfill her dream of working in a flower shop.  After a time of hard lessons Eliza learns not only to pronounce sentences like "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" properly, but to think and express herself clearly. At an embassy ball Henry Higgins and Colonel Pickering show her off and she becomes the centre of attention. Professor Higgins won his bet and still he treats Eliza condescendingly. Eliza erupts with anger, reproaches him for his arrogance and she leaves... Now Henry Higgins does observe how very much she matters him.                   “I’ve grown accustomed to her face.                            She almost makes the day begin.                          I’ve grown accustomed to the tune                          she whistles night and noon.                          Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, herdowns,                          are second nature to me now.                          Like breathing out and breathing in.                          I was serenely independent and content                          before we met.                          Surely I could always be that way again                          and yet….                          I’ve grown accustomed to her looks,                          accustomed to her voice,                          accustomed to her face.                          And I’m so used to hear her say                          “ good morning “ every day.                          Her joys, her woes, her highs, her lows,                          Are second nature to me now.                          Like breathing out and breathing in.                          I’m very glad that she‘s a woman                          and so easy to forget.                          Rather like a habit one can always                          break and yet…                          I’ve grown accustomed to the trace.                          of something in the air                          accustomed to her face.” Eliza succeeded so well, however, that she outgrows her social station in a development (added by Lerner) even manages to get Henry Higgins to fall in love with her......

 
 

Why Can't the English?              Henry             Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,             Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.             By law she should be taken out and hung,             For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.             Eliza             Aaoooww!             Henry imitating her             Aaoooww!             Heaven's! What a noise!             This is what the British population,             Calls an elementary education.             Pickering             Oh, Counsel, I think you picked a poor example.             Henry             Did I?             Hear them down in Soho square,             Dropping "h's" everywhere.             Speaking English anyway they like.             You sir, did you go to school?             Man             Wadaya tike me for, a fool?             Henry             No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike!             Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?             This verbal class distinction, by now,             Should be antique.             If you spoke as she does, sir,             Instead of the way you do,             Why, you might be selling flowers, too!             Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse,             Hear a Cornishman converse,             I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.             Chickens cackling in a barn             Just like this one!             Eliza             Garn!             Henry             I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?             It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place.             Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.             Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?             This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.             If you spoke as she does, sir,             Instead of the way you do,             Why, you might be selling flowers, too.             An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,             The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him.             One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.             Oh, why can't the English learn to set             A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?             The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.             There even are places where English completely disappears.             In America, they haven't used it for years!             Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?             Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their Greek.             In France every Frenchman knows his language fro "A" to "Zed"             The French never care what they do, actually, as long as they pronounce             in properly.             Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.             And Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening.             But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.             Why can't the English,             Why can't the English learn to speak?

 
 

Wouldn't It Be Loverly?              It's rather dull in town,             I think I'll take me to Paree.             Mmmmmm.             The mistress wants to open up             The castle in Capri.             Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea!             Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?             Eliza             All I want is a room somewhere,             Far away from the cold night air.             With one enormous chair,             Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?             Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,             Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.             Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,             Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?             Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.             I would never budge 'till spring             Crept over me windowsill.             Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee,             Warm an' tender as 'e can be.             'ho takes good care of me,             Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?             Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly.             [REPEAT]

 
 

With a Little Bit O' Luck              Alfred             The Lord above gave man an arm of iron             So he could do his job and never shirk.             The Lord gave man an arm of iron-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!             The three             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck you'll never work!             Alfred             The Lord above made liquor for temptation,             To see if man could turn away from sin.             The Lord above made liquor for temptation-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             When temptation comes you'll give right in!             The three             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck you'll give right in.             Alfred             Oh, you can walk the straight and narrow;             But with a little bit of luck             You'll run amuck!             The gentle sex was made for man to marry,             To share his nest and see his food is cooked.             The gentle sex was made for man to marry-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             You can have it all and not get hooked.             The three             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck you won't get hooked.             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of bloomin' luck!             Alfred             The Lord above made man to help is neighbor,             No matter where, on land, or sea, or foam.             The Lord above made man to help his neighbor-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             When he comes around you won't be home!             Jim and Harry             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck,             You won't be home.             Alfred             They're always throwin' goodness at you;             But with a little bit of luck             A man can duck!             Oh, it's a crime for man to go philandrin             And fill his wife's poor heart with grief and doubt.             Oh, it's a crime for man to go philanderin'-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             You can see the bloodhound don't find out!             The three             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck she won't find out!             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of bloomin' luck!             He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket.             The poorest bloke you'll ever hope to meet.             He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket-but             With a little bit of luck,             With a little bit of luck,             He'll be movin' up to easy street.             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of luck,             He's movin' up.             With a little bit...with a little bit...             With a little bit of bloomin luck!

 
 

I'm an Ordinary Man    Well after all, Pickering, I'm an ordinary man, Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance, to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants... An average man am I, of no eccentric whim, Who likes to live his life, free of strife, doing whatever he thinks is best, for him, Well... just an ordinary man... BUT, Let a woman in your life and your serenity is through, she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome, and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you... Let a woman in your life, and you're up against a wall, make a plan and you will find, that she has something else in mind, and so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all You want to talk of Keats and Milton, she only wants to talk of love, You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching for her glove, Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife, Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands... I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let a woman in my life, I'm a very gentle man, even tempered and good natured who you never hear complain, Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein, A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,  the sort who never could, ever would, let an insulting remark escape his lips Very gentle man... But, Let a woman in your life, and patience hasn't got a chance, she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise, and she will listen very nicely, and then go out and do exactly what she wants!!! You are a man of grace and polish, who never spoke above a hush, all at once you're using language that would make a sailor blush, Let a woman in your life, and you're plunging in a knife, Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,  I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition than to ever let a woman in my life I'm a quiet living man, who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room, who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb, A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys, who likes to meditate, contemplate, far for humanities mad inhuman noise, Quiet living man.... But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through, in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends,  come to jabber and to chatter and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!, she'll have a booming boisterous family, who will descend on you en mass, she'll have a large wagnarian mother, with a voice that shatters glass, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life I  shall  never  let  a  woman  in  my  life.

 
 

You see the flame?  Every time you say your aitch properly, the flame will waver. Every time you drop your aitch, the flame will remain stationary.....

 

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Now, listen carefully: in Hertford, Hereford and  Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.........

NEXT: MY FAIR LADY STORY PART TWO